Maid Stories

We finally hired a part time maid, and she's been working for us 3 weeks now. She's great - fast, efficient, thorough, speaks English, plays with Madison, etc. I actually think Madison likes her b/c her name is Lisa and she's Asian, so she somewhat resembles her Hispanic nanny from Dallas, whose name is Eloisa. Haha. 

We share Lisa with another family (who referred her to us), and they're only request was to make her leave our house on time, as she is always late for work there. Our strategy is - if she has a steady morning job with us that would ensure she stays on schedule for her next family. Time management here closely resembles the South American philosophy... "when I arrive is when I am there." So a "start time" of 8:00am actually means the maid will show up around 8:30am, and one should be happy she showed up at all. Okay... a bit of a learning curve for me.

Lisa was cleaning out a bucket in the laundry room sink and somehow hit the faucet and it cracked half-way off from the pipe and started spraying water everywhere. I was sitting at the kitchen bar working on my laptop when I hear "oh ma'am! some-ting happened in here!"  I run in and see water spraying everywhere!  I run over and put pressure on the faucet to keep it somewhat connected to the pipe to minimize the spray, while instructing her to run and get my phone.  Since it's time for her to go I tell her to go ahead and leave and I'll have maintenance come fix the faucet, and not to worry about it - accidents happen. 

Picture this - I'm covered in water and holding the pipe to the wall, while holding my phone between my ear & shoulder yelling "emergency" to the maintenance man (he speaks limited English), and the maid comes back in the room to ask for a raise. I wanted to yell "seriously?! you just broke our pipe and the laundry room is flooding!" I had already generously rounded up her pay for the week, so I tried to calmly explain that, then urged her to hurry so she could get to the other family's house on time.  She smiles and says "okay ma'am, thank you" then leaves.

The maintenance guys come and shut off the water, then start working to repair the wall. I later sent Lisa a text letting her know not to worry about the faucet, and I think she's doing a great job working for us.. just in case she felt guilty (she's a bit sensitive). The following day I get a text from Lisa saying she quits because she found another job paying more money so she won't be coming back to work. Oh joy...  

There's a facebook page solely dedicated to maid stories here, where one can find pictures/stories of "bad" maids, post help-wanted ads, ask questions about legality, etc.. It's been really helpful for me, and I'm quickly realizing there's a war going on between maids and their employers. The maids will take a job, but if it's "too much work" they'll quit and try out another family; and the employers aren't helping the situation - "maid poaching" is a common practice so it's not unusual for a maid to leave you for your friend, who is paying them RM1 or RM2 more an hour  (which is only $.30-.60!!!).  I've never seen anything like it! Loyalty is non-existent! And not just that.. the thing that gets me is the maids don't even give their current employer a chance to counter-offer; they just quit and move on. 

The good news is I just interviewed 2 new maids today and hired one who works for a family across the street, which is the ideal situation as transportation to/from isn't an issue. I called the family to ensure they were okay with her working for us (as not to "poach" her) and explained what hours I required. They were very cool about it and had wonderful things to say about her, so hopefully I've found a "winner!" 

Get a Date, & Burp

Did I get your attention?? Well these ads caught my attention. I think they took the saying "all press is good press" too literally, ha. But you be the judge!


Get a date when you buy a pair of shoes?
It's a bit disappointing when you realize it's a Ken doll, ha.

"Burp" is the name of a new fast food restaurant here. And the target market would be.... ??

Masseuse chat (this one is for the ladies)

I'm happy to report I found us a really good masseuse that comes to our house once a week, conducting 90 minute massages for Ryan & I, for about the price of a three Sprinkles cupcakes. Yes, I'm rubbing it in for all you Americans : )   

I had a very interesting conversation with my masseuse last night, regarding Malay traditions in childbirth.   

(full disclosure: if you're struggling shedding your post-preggo baby weight, I would advise not reading any further or you may end up in tears.. ya know, hormones & all..)

As most of you know, I've had severe back problems for years, and have had a few scary episodes of my herniated discs flaring up and not being able to walk for a few days. When I told this to my masseuse I unintentionally opened up her Pandora's box of eastern remedies for every physical ailment you can think of. This lady is intense. It took her 15 minutes just to explain how she makes her "home-made herbal massage oils", and the proper way to apply them for the utmost benefit. Sold - it works! 

Then somehow we stumbled onto the topic of childbirth, and how the Malay women do things... 

The Malay women are very disciplined (not as much as the Chinese though, she said). They go into "confinement" for 44 days after giving birth. They don't leave the house, entertain guests, etc.. Their sole 'jobs' are to heal and feed the baby. Their mother typically lives with them during that time to ensure they are following the strict Malay diet and treatment plan after giving birth.. and she said these mommas are NOT to be messed with. The goal of the 44 days of confinement is to look and feel 100% back to you pre-baby self by the time you reach the forty-forth day. How have I never heard of this before???

The day the new mom comes home from the hospital after having a baby, the masseuse comes to the house to give the first post-baby massage. It's typically 2 hours, and involves a full body massage with special emphasis on the abdomen. The mother continues this every 3 days during the period of confinement. The process of massaging the abdomen releases all the extra blood, water, and toxins, that are left in the mother's body after giving birth. This expedites the healing process so the uterus & belly fat shrink faster, the hormone levels go back to normal quicker, and the body starts to heal faster due to the increased circulation. 

They have a VERY strict diet, which consists of soups / seafood / veggies; and they can only drink warm water and teas. I'm still unsure about why only warm fluids.. she said it had something to do with cold drinks will slow down the metabolism process or something... I couldn't get a perfect translation on this. 

And get this - the Chinese women only get a confinement period of 30 days!!!! It's incredible to think these women are so pressured to be back to "normal" within a month of giving birth. But, when I look around at all the new moms here, I am a believer in their process. They don't look like they just gave birth - it's amazing, and a little sickening all at the same time. I love them for their discipline, and hate them because they can accomplish the seemingly impossible. 

All I know is, if we end up having a baby while in Malaysia I WILL be adopting the Malay method of confinement. A white girl needs to put this theory to the test... 

Happy First Easter in Malaysia!

Easter was very low-key as Madison & I were coming off two weeks of being really sick.. so we just went to church, stayed for the lunch afterwards for a bit, then relaxed the rest of the day.

Madison awoke to her Easter trail, which is a trail of jelly beans the Easter bunny left her that lead to her Easter basket. She actually had 3 trails because we had a couple of baskets (thanks for all the presents Nana & Papa!), but she only made it down one of them then sat down and started eating the candy. Much like last year.. but we got a bit further down the trail this year : )



Easter box from Nana & Papa...

Window jellies - she loved these!

Part of her Easter dinnerware.. cup, plate, snack bowl.. so cute!

Excited to find a surprise inside..

Ignoring her breakfast and going after the candy..

My beautiful little girl in her Easter dress..

It was a gorgeous Easter morning. View from our lanai of the mosque and downtown..

A job for Tiffany, & a school for Madison

I joined an organization called "ibu," which was established by a group of women seventeen years ago, and is essentially a family resource group (they have a long mission statement - I won't bore you). It's membership base is nearly 90% expats, however in the past few years they've been more heavily involved in local charities / organizations / events, which has boosted it's local membership. It's a wonderful support group for a "first-timer" expat living in Malaysia, like myself. I joined at the urging of one of the moms I met at church, and I'm really glad I did. There are over 1,000 members, so it's a huge network of really talented women from all over the world. Some of my closest friends so far are from Pakistan, England, Australia, Japan, and Canada. Talk about a melting pot! 

I've been a member for just a a few short weeks now, but felt I could make an impact working with them... and it would be a nice break from the hospitality world for a year or so (wink.. for those of you who know what a hot mess that is!). So I applied, and found out today that I'm going to be heading up their online marketing, starting next week. Woohoo, I can't wait to get started! 

Some more good news is we were able to secure Madison's placement in a really nice Montessori school, located in our building - doesn't get much better than that! It's a brand new school (2011), and since our condos are new as well they've been receiving overwhelming interest in the school with new people moving in every week, but we were able to still get in. A few of the other kids we've had playdates with in our condos go there, so it's nice she'll already know a few kids before she starts. She's SO ready to get back into school; it's actually kind of heart-breaking to see her chase down every child she sees to make friends with them. I kind of know the feeling, so I don't blame her, ha! 

The upside is she has NO problems with social skills. Actually, I'm not sure if that will be a good or bad thing in school... I seem to remember getting in trouble for talking too much - yeah, I know, imagine that.

 

We hired a maid, ya! ..then she quit

I've joined a handful of social networking sites, mostly on facebook, to "meet" other expats, and moms with toddlers. It's incredible how nice and outgoing people are here. The minute I joined they started sending me suggestions for things, and links to helpful sites. It has really made the transition seamless.

Most people have a live-in maid here. Mostly because the cost is next to none.. but I'm sure also for the convenience of having a live-in maid / cook / babysitter / etc. When I looked for housing online before we got here I noticed all the postings had a +1 next to the number of bedrooms. Strange. Now I know why - this is the maid's "room." I'm not exaggerating when I say this room is the size of a walk-in pantry. The maid's "bathroom" is a toilette with a shower head over it and one can barely turn around in it. Picture airplane lavatory...

Apparently the battle for a good maid here is pretty fierce, and if one of the "good" maids becomes available, all the moms are in a frenzy over who gets her. One of the mom's FB groups call the rest the "Maid Mafia" and it lists pictures and stories of bad maids so other people won't hire them. Some of the posts are scary, but some are pretty funny too.

I put an ad out for a part-time maid, and my criteria was a bit stiff... especially after reading all of those stories. One of the mom's I met on FB recommended her maid (Lisa), who also watches her son, and has been employed by their family for almost two years. Sounds like a winner!

We invited Lisa over Saturday for an interview and liked her. We offered her the job, after a bit of haggling over the pay, she left happy (so we thought) and would arrive to work Monday morning as promised. However, Sunday night I get a text saying she quits. Huh?? I asked her why and to give us an opportunity to understand what she needed and maybe we could work something out. She wanted a raise (of course) and for us to pay her transportation everyday. Welcome to Malaysia! As an employer I guess it's our job to not only pay them for working, but also pay them to COME TO WORK. Good grief. We settled on an arrangement.. again.. and (we think) all parties are happy.

I guess we'll see when the sun rises on her first day - stay tuned!

Visit to the ER (yep, already)

Madison started running a fever the first night we got into our condo. She crawled up in our bed in the middle of the night and I could tell she had a fever.. she was just on fire. She wasn't throwing up, and was eating fine, so I didn't take her to the doctor right away. I have enough meds to beat a fever.. or so I thought. Day 2 was the same, no break in fever. I took her to the local clinic in Mont Kiara (where we live), based on the recommendation from other expats I've met here, called Global Doctors. They were good, but they gave her the WORST tasting antibiotic I've ever tried, and the flavor on the cough medicine actually said "tastes like sour plum" .. ya, ok, that's not going down.
So by 11pm that night we were getting really concerned, and at that moment she started to puke. It was bad.. she was burning up, not responsive, and Ryan and I tried not to panic as we rushed out of the house to get a taxi. Ryan had made friends with this taxi driver, V.J., so he called him and he came quickly, and broke almost every traffic light getting us to the Prince Court hospital downtown, which is new and they're used to treating expats. The experience was great. They rushed Ryan & Madison right in, as I filled out the weakest questionnaire I've ever seen (took 30 seconds!).
Long story short she has a terrible bacterial infection, and her chest/lungs are full of fluid. They took a throat swab then gave her a quick shower (that was torture for me to watch both) to lower her temp, a suppository of IB profin, and after about an hour her temp started to drop. The docs were great.. stayed with us until all of our questions were answered and we felt comfortable leaving - no rushing us out b/c they needed the bed like in the States. They said it's pretty standard for expats to experience this when they first arrive, as there are so many new bacterias here. We just need to be more careful with hand-washing and making sure she doesn't pick up her paci and put it in her mouth if it's on the floor. That's a whole another story as we're trying to ween her off of it anyway. Wish us luck.
As we left they handed me the medicine for Mads and said goodbye. I looked at Ryan and asked if he already paid, he said no. No one took our information so we were a bit confused how this process worked. I asked the reception desk if I needed to pay or if they'll send me a bill, and they acted like it was an afterthought. Amazing! It's nice to be somewhere where quality healthcare comes FIRST, then you settle payment... especially when it's a sick child. The bill was hilarious, they itemize EVERYTHING.. 2 pair of latex gloves (.$30), 1 popsicle stick for throat swab ($.10), doctor's consult $30, one IB Profin, etc... the total bill was around $60 (USD). Insanely cheap for an ER visit! Here are some pics of that terrible night - my poor baby...