Safety in Malaysia

(I drafted this while I was in the US during the holidays. It answers to a lot of questions I was asked by family/friends while I was home. Although it's a little outdated now that we're in Australia, it's still an interesting read. So here ya go!)

A lot of people ask me, "is it safe there?", and there's no just easy "yes" or "no" answer that sums that question up. It's a little more complicated than that.. as I imagine it is anywhere you live depending on the area of the city.

Safety was a major question for me as well when we first arrived.. mainly due to adapting to a new, unfamiliar, and very different environment and culture. Just the shock of reading the papers, and watching the news (which is heavily censored by the gov't to make Malaysia appear to be paradise, so I quit watching the "fake" news), was enough to make anyone, especially a mother, a little leary.

We stayed at the Westin KL a few weeks while deciding which area of town to live in. This area is called Bukit Bintang, the city center, and main area for tourists to visit/stay. Bukit Bintang is a sensory experience in and of itself - there is the "strip" of really high end designer stores and car dealerships, located in the Pavillion Mall (this was across the street from where our hotel was). It is busy day & night, always crowded with people from all over the world, a ton of motorbikes, and seems to never sleep. We had an enclosed balcony that overlooked this strip, and I would just sit out there at night and watch the people/cars, and try to explain it to my family, haha. Some nights there was fireworks by the Petronas Towers too, which was beautiful to watch from our room.

During the day when Ryan was a work, Madison & I would venture out to explore the city. We started small and close to the hotel - the Pavillion Mall, which has some street-facing stores, and an enormous core. Everyday we'd discover a new area, a new restaurant, etc.. Ryan had been in KL 3 weeks already, so he had been coached a little by his co-workers on how to protect your belongings, where to go/where not to, warned about the motorbike thieves, etc.. So I wore my cross-body purse, positioned away from the street (b/c motorists are known to drive by & snatch it off your arm), and I kept a tight hand on Madison at all times. I didn't really feel unsafe walking around by myself in Bukit Bintang though.

Pavillion Mall, KL Tower in background, traffic!

view of street / Pavillion mall from our balcony at Westin

view of Petronas Towers from hotel

One very memorable day was when I visited the KLCC (Kuala Lumpur City Center) splashpark. It is located in these enormous gardens behind KLCC, which is comprised of the Petronas Towers, the Maxis Tower (where Ryan works), the KLCC mall (largest mall I've ever been in.. really nice), and a mulitude of many other highrises and residential buildings. The park has a huge playground, a large pond with shooting water features running through it, a running trail, and at the center.. a splashpark. Since we were still adjusting the to heat we were always so hot and sweaty after walking around the city, so the splashpark was a great idea. It's a zero edge pool, with platform "stepping stones" that lead to a wide gentle waterfall that the kids can play under.
I changed Madison into her swimsuit on a park bench 10 feet from the pool entry then let her run towards the pool herself while I secured our things. However, she only got 5 feet away from me before a group of teenage girls scooped her up and started taking pictures with her. One girl would take a picture then pass her off to her friend who would also take a picture. I was speechless, and so was Madison. She just looked at me like "umm.. not sure what to do here" and I probably gave her back the same look for a second. I walked over and took her out of their arms and politely asked them to not pick her up again. They said ok, and giggled, then said a bunch of stuff in Mandarin, then walked over to a bench where they sat down and continued to take pictures of her from afar. The poor child didn't even get to the water before she was snatched up and used as a prop! That really made me nervous. I understand they were just fascinated with her (blonde, blue eyes..), and I'm sure it was innocent enough, but it made me wonder where those pictures would end up, and more importantly.. worried me that they were able to grab her so fast when I turned my back for 10 seconds! It was a good first encounter with this behaviour, and opened my eyes to the realization we were the minority here.. we're going to stand out whereever we go, and I can never take that for granted.

at the KLCC Splashpark

day 3 in KL - we're so hot! Time for a dip!

We went house-hunting the next day, and the taxi driver started telling us terrible stories about children being abducted. He was telling us this as a warning after seeing our daughter, and although I understood he was trying to be helpful, it still sent me over the edge. Tears just started rolling down my face and Ryan told the man to stop talking. (from then forward Ryan hired us a driver he knew to take us around town!). I am not niave - I understand SEA is affected by human trafficing, but it's a different feeling when you now live there rather than hearing about it from the safe bubble of the US. This changed everything for me, and two things happened:  1) I instantly turned from an easy-going parent into a momma bear. No longer polite - if someone tries to take a picture of my daughter I sternly tell them to stop; if someone tried to touch her or pick her up the same applies.  2) I think I found the reason I was meant to go to KL. I started looking up websites for orphanages, anti-trafficing organizations, and family resource groups, so I could get involved in some way.

I manage the marketing and online public relations for IBU, which is the largest family resource group in Malaysia, and I also volunteer at a girls orphanage that our church supports (Home of Peace). I really love it, and it puts so many things in perspective for me. The lives these little girls have lived already.. at just 6, 7 or 8 years old, is amazing, mostly unthinkable.. but they now have a future ahead of them at Home of Peace. I take Madison to the orphanage with me on most days.. she plays with the girls and tells them Bible stories, and we do crafts together or play soccer. I don't talk too much about why we are doing it, I just tell her these girls don't have parents and need extra love... she seems to get it. She has turned into such a caring child - whenever she gets something new she wants to share it with the girls. People drop off donations by the carload to our house, and Madison helps me sort it and she designates certain toys to specific girls she knows would like it. No matter where we live, this will be a part of our life moving forward.

"hope of peace" orphanage

We chose to live in an area called Mont Kiara. It's about 5 miles from KLCC, has beautiful views of the Petronas Towers, the Palace, and surrounding areas, from our lanai. I feel extremely safe here. I have many friends in our condo, and in this area. It's largely expat, and we like that we are always meeting someone from another country everywhere we go. Across the street from our condo is a shopping/dining area, so we walk over to dinner most weekends. I walk Madison to school every morning, which is about a 20 minute walk through Mont Kiara.

our condo grounds

pool & spa view from our condo

Madison checking out her new playground

 It has taken some time to warm up to KL from my initiation with the taxi driver in Bukit Bintang, but I'm definitely more street-wise than I ever was before! I do alot of things with my friends, like go to the farmers market, playdates, shopping, errand-running. This is new for me b/c I'm pretty independent, but I've learned it's the way of life here.. plus it's nice to be surrounded by such a great group of friends all the time!

Heading Home for the Holidays!

Madison & I are headed home to the US for the holidays, leaving the first week of Nov, and Ryan is joining us in December. This will be my first trip back since moving to SEA, and my first time traveling back to the US alone with a toddler. We are taking a red-eye flight from KL to Toyko, which is about 8 hours, then we have a 5 hour layover in Tokyo (kill me now), then we get on our direct flight to Dallas which takes another 14 hours.

I think I've figured out a way to lesson the jetlag in the US with this plan:  keep her up as long as possible on the red-eye to Tokyo (b/c it's 10am in the US), then seek out the play area in Tokyo airport for a hour or so, then have breakfast in the AA lounge, shower, change Mads into p.j's, then board our flight to Dallas.. and sleep as long as possible so when we land at 8am we'll be refreshed. Well, that's the plan...I'll let you know :)

I am more than prepared for this journey. If you remember my trip to KL, then you would understand my concern doing it again, alone. You name it, I have it packed in her bag. Games, coloring books, playdough, ipad, stickers, snacks, p.j.'s, two of her "friends" (stuffed animals), etc.. It sounds like a ton of stuff but it's actually all travel sizes so it all fits perfectly in her rolling backpack. Madison loves that backpack and I have to say it was a great idea.. she packs it herself (w/a little help from mommy) which makes her very proud to have her "own" bag, and she pulls it herself through the airport, which makes people laugh & tell her how cute she is (which also makes her very proud of herself).

We land in Dallas at 8:00a on election day, which is ironic considering all the work I had to do to get our absentee ballots. It took two online requests, an email to the state capitol, and a call to the embassy. It's a bit concerning it took that many tries to just get our ballots, and appearantly it's not just a problem with us, as a few other of our American friends had trouble getting theirs as well. So if all else fails I can actually go to the polling center when I land and vote. After observing politics in a foreign country I am even more grateful for my right to vote. The day we land I also have a hair appointment at my favorite salon, which I'm really looking forward to! Malaysians are not quite sure what to do with my think blonde hair, so a cut & color is really passed due :) So I'm really pushing the envelope on the first day in Dallas, not knowing how we'll respond to jetlag, but it's best to stay up as long as possible the first day and go to bed on time so that's my plan.

Our schedule for the first week is a bit chaotic:
Mads & I will be in Dallas from Tuesday through Friday, then we're flying up to Tulsa for our cousin Stephen's wedding over the weekend, then back to Dallas Sunday night, then flying to KY on Tuesday night. It's going to be a crazy week, and I'm not sure how Madison (or I) will handle jetlag, but I think the trick is to just keep busy during the day and early bedtimes. We are staying with our friends, the Hecklers, in Dallas, and Madison is so excited about having sleepovers every night with the girls (we'll see if that actually happens, ha). Carie & I are going to a Mavericks game Wednesday night, which I'm super pumped about as I've missed American sports so badly.. ok I'll admit I want to indulge in all the basketball snacks as well. popcorn, nachos, beer, hot dogs.. yum..I will welcome the tummy ache the next day for my one night of sins.

I'm hoping for some snow in KY while we're there. I white Christmas would be so nice! I hope we can find all of our winter clothes easily at my parent's house, where all of our things are being held while we're in Malaysia. Thank God my mom was there to help me pack up the Dallas house earlier this year b/c she had enough foresight to pack our winter gear seperate from everything else, so when we came home for the holidays it would already be in our closets at her house. Really good plan! I did get a little lecture from Ryan about shopping in Dallas.. he knows how much I love fall/winter, and it's so hard to not buy a cute pair of boots or sweater to get in the holiday "mood", but he's right... we'll only be home a few weeks so it's not worth it. However, all of Madison's stuff from last year is too small, so she's the exception (I thought to myself, haha). I'll get my retail therapy shopping for her instead.

The Heckler girls are so excited to have Madison "living" with them for a while (so cute!). We've skyped a few times to talk about the "countdown" and get them excited, and to plan some fun things while we're there. They're most excited about having sleepovers (ie: Madison sleep in Madeline's room), but we've planned a few fun outings as well. The zoo, mani/pedi's, the arboretum, ice cream outings, tea party, etc.. I'm excited to have this time to let Madison see her friends and just enjoy being back in Texas. I hope it doesn't go by too fast!